What to do after the epilogue?

Loving the SoCal Desert and the brief shade at Danny Boy Mine -- One of my favorite days

It has been a long time since I last wrote anything substantial. Civilization has hit me like a ton of bricks -- so much to do, emails to write, phone calls to return, meetings to attend. I have observed that in daily life we have way too many things to balance, and therefore all goes out of balance. There are too many choices, and many of us, pressed by schedules, troubled by feelings of doubt, fear, nervousness and self-neglect, make the wrong choices.

Life was simple on the trail; I knew where all my things were at all times. If I didn't, I could be in serious danger. In the month since I have been home my IPhone disappeared (I found it--thankfully people in Oregon are honest), lost two parking garage tickets (paying the maximum parking fee), misplaced my wallet at least four times, and can't seem to find the random items of my hiking uniform that I just wore for nine weeks straight. I feel out of place somedays, like my body doesn't fit in my surroundings. I slip and spill things a lot. And that is just stupid and messy.

My feet shrank in the Sierras, and now fit in my high heels. They were fun to try on the first week. Now, however, when I look in my closet I feel overwhelmed. (Not that I'm planning on getting rid of any shoes....) I drink lots of water, but take 5-minute showers (with only one kind of soap). I'm not too excited about cooking or the number of choices that go in to deciding on a meal. I'm on a cheese kick these days...just open it and eat, and wash down with some good wine. I worked hard to get rid of my hiker tan; now its just a tan like everone else's. I cut and dyed my hair blonde. I needed a change. People tell me when they haven't seen me since April that I look great. I just feel different, and I think that I want to show it outwardly.

I read my friends' journals and watch their Spots. This week I talked with Dorian and Joce (the French guys) who are in Crater Lake, The Kern who is leaving Ashland today, Boston and Cubby who will arrive outside Ashland today, and Green Tortuga, who called me but I missed his call, so I don't know exactly where he is. I'm betting somewhere in Oregon.

I'm contemplating getting on the trail again, but returning home was so hard the first time, that I am not sure how I feel about it. I have given up on walking with Boston and Cubby since their mileages are increasing up to 35-40 a day, and mine, well, mine have shrunk to zero. I found that my pre-hike training regime (stairclimber, treadmill) just isn't fun anymore. My body changed shape on the trail, with my legs getting very muscular and my butt slipping away to nonexistence. I thought pilates might help. So far, so good. Putting my tunes on, setting up a step in the aerobics room and rockin' out with some choreography seems to be therapeutic (and difficult!).


Dorian and Joce said that they could accommodate my snail's pace by doing 25 miles a day. Funny how thruhikers take on a superhero status, even to those of us who know what it is like. So the plan may be to meet the Frenchies at Timberline Lodge and just hike for two days (46 miles) to Cascade Locks. Then I can bring them to Portland for a zero day at our house. It will be wonderful to be on the trail again with friends that met me in one brief window of my life, yet know me much better than some of those folks in my day-to-day life. I hope to also see Kern when he arrives at Timberline Lodge...and then there is Boston and Cubby who are less than one day behind. Half-Ounce is with them, I think, but he will leave at Ashland and return to CA do the Sierras...at least that is the trail gossip at this point.

To date we have raised over $5600 for Jake's Therapy, and I feel honored to have been able to do that for him!! I haven't finished this blog yet. I know that there is more to tell, so please stay tuned for me (Sooner than later, I promise).